Two Thanksgivings

So much concern during days like these over food, eating, health, and fitness.  At the PFG meetup a few weeks ago, we shared ideas on how to avoid overeating at the holiday table.  I remember how those questions used to wear on me: "What should I eat?  Will Grandma be hurt if I don't eat her sweet potatos? How much weight will I gain?  Be full when I get there? Be empty-stomached when I get there? Why oh why can't I just eat like normal people do? Maybe I'll just drink a gallon of water...I can fast the next day..."   There were a lot of good ideas, and one of my offerings to the group was my sample plate: just a single bite of everything so I get to taste it all, and then choose what it is that I truly want a full serving of.  (I learned to NEVER show up hungry. That never turns out well.) 

I started to realize something in the days after my last bummer of a post, and as I read through all my friend's posts about planning to not overeat and staying active this week.  Since I had to work all of Thursday and Friday, my family had planned on having Thanksgiving at my place on Saturday.  The idea of entertaining here stressed me out just a little - I guess I'm embarrassed that I live in an apartment, I only have six chairs (two of which are buried in the closet), and I have a smallish kitchen.  But when our meeting place got changed to my parents' in Pine City, I was actually a little disappointed.  I realized I'd been looking forward to making a healthier meal, or at least one for which I'd know the nutritional info.  It would have been nice to change things up a bit, to have my own new, healthy options and to have the control over my own kitchen!

As a compromise, this was the first year I negotiated bringing my own dishes.  I wanted a tasty vegetable option, and I wanted to create my own version of my favorite holiday dish: the stuffing!  Mom was happy to not have to make everything, so I made a recipe I'd come across (minus the sausage) and tossed up some fresh green beans with a cinnamon/granola/almond mix. 

As usual, there was an abundance of options for eight people (and there's usually more):
*turkey and gravy
*sweet potatos
*mashed potatos
*stuffing
*cinnamon green beans
*mixed vegetables
*brussel sprouts (for Grandma)
*4 types of buns
*deviled eggs
*olives & pickles
*pumpkin pie
*strawberry rhubarb pie
*coconut cream pie
*Rice Krispie bars
*nuts, chips, crackers, etc

Despite the focus I've allowed this in the past, I realized this year that I was quite unconcerned with what I would eat or what I would weigh.  Not only did I discover on Thursday that I'd already dropped the 5 pounds which put me over the edge earlier this week (stupid hormonal water weight), I realized that I'm actually at a place where I know my weight will fluctuate a few pounds, but I'll get it back where I want it to be.  I also no longer feel subject to anyone's experience other than my own.  If someone is hurt that I didn't eat what they made, I'm still not obligated to eat it.  If there's too much food and Mom wants to send it home with me, I'm not taking it if I won't eat it or don't love it.  If I've gained one thing in my battles with eating, it's that I am now in the habit of eating only what fuels and pleases me on a daily basis.  When I feel I've truly nourished myself instead of just indulged, stuffed, or simply fed myself, I have no inclination to overeat.  None.

I didn't even do my sample plate this year. I had a big spoonful of my stuffing, a big serving of my green beans, and turkey.  No potatos, no roll, no nuts, one Pringle (had to try pizza flavor - yuck), and one half of a deviled egg (just to see what my uncle makes such a big deal about - meh).  Olives are one of my faves but I'm a bit spoiled by the oil-cured, seasoned olives I get at home, and potatos?  I can eat those anytime.  I can pass on a simple white bun because I die for the seven-grain, preservative-free bread I keep in my fridge. (With organic cultured butter.  Heaven.)

Cake is something I can always pass on and so are most bars & cookies.  I've never been much of a sweets person.  But pie?  Overly sweet or chocolately pies I can skip, but lightly-sweetened fruit or cream pies?  I don't stand a chance.  I used to shovel it in until it hurt - even the kinds I don't particularily care for.  This year, I convinced my mom to not set out the key lime and turtle pie (three pies was enough for eight people, no?) and I ate only half a piece each of the strawberry rhubarb and coconut cream.  I left some of the crust from both, and half of the whipped cream off the latter.  All I really wanted was each and every bite of fruit filling and coconut custard.

I didn't feel at all yesterday that I was missing out, or that I wanted to eat more because I wouldn't have another chance to taste them soon.  I ate what I truly wanted and only that, and it felt SO good.  If I gain a pound or two this week, I really don't mind.  It'll come off.  I don't mind because I got to have two Thanksgivings this year, one with my very real work family and one with my lifelong family.  Rather than being resentful about working holidays, I've begun to think that perhaps this makes me lucky. 

Work family

It's been an overall good week.  I got my labs back from my physical and they're fabulous: my FBG was 68 (once 104), my total cholesterol was 179 (238 at my heaviest), and my vitamin D levels are up into the normal range after a year of supplements.  The Blenders released a new Christmas album and I've had two great runs.  I get to interrupt my crazy intense paper writing with more friend visits later this week, and I get 90 minutes of heavenly deep tissue massage tonight.

This week is much better.  Thank goodness.