Stay close to me

There is a scene in the final Harry Potter movie that consistently moves me to tears.

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Harry has come to understand that in order to kill Lord Voldemort, he himself must die, for he unintentionally carries a piece of the Dark Lord's soul inside of him.

He says goodbye to his best mates, all of them knowing it is the last time they will speak, and he walks alone through the dark, smoldering courtyard out into the Dark Forest.  He pauses in a clearing and looks around apprehensively.  Reaching into his pocket, he slowly withdraws the Golden Snitch. Its invisible words, having never made sense before, appear again as only to him: "I open at the close."

With his focus on the gleaming ball in his hand and with a shuddering breath, he proclaims, "I'm ready to die."  He places it to his mouth, and with a mechanical whir, it begins to fold open at the flesh memory.  A dark, translucent, pyramid-shaped stone floats upward from the interior; he whispers in astonished recognition, "The Resurrection Stone" as he lifts his hand to grasp it.  He closes his eyes, and the music changes as he opens them once more.

He is surrounded by four people in the darkness - four souls he has loved deeply but whose lives have been lost to the Dark Lord.  In front of him stands his mother, and she raises her arm as he rushes forward, his breath catching in his throat...but when their hands meet, his hand passes through her shadow.  Hope drains from his face and is replaced by a subtle bitterness as he realizes he will not be able to touch her.

"You've been so brave, sweetheart."  Lily says with pride, her eyes conveying immeasurable love to her son.

Numbly, almost angrily, he asks, "Why are you here?"  Then, looking to James, his father, "All of you?"

"We never left," says Lily.

Harry swallows as he nods in understanding.  He turns and begins to walk toward his godfather, Sirius.  "Does it...does it hurt?  Dying?"

Sirius, softly and with great reassurance: "Quicker than falling asleep."

Harry nods stiffly, appearing to accept this.  His father, from behind, says, "You're nearly there, son."

He turns first toward his father and then toward all in the circle.  Angst evident on his face, Harry says to all of them, "I'm sorry.  I never wanted any of you to die for me.  (pause)  And Remus - your son..."

Remus interrupts him in a tone of great wisdom. "Others will tell him what his mother and father died for.  One day, he'll understand."

Harry looks back toward his mother, an aching sadness visible on her face.  As she gazes at him, he turns back to his father and states, as if he already knows, "You'll stay with me."

James nods.  "Until the end."

Harry turns back to his mother and referring to the Dark Lord asks, "And he won't be able to see you?"

"No," Sirius whispers as Harry turns to face him.  "We're here, you see."

It isn't clear at first to what Sirius points, but as the angle changes, we see that he is pointing to Harry's heart.  Harry looks down toward his heart, then back up to Sirius.  He takes a final, shaking breath and looks toward his mother.  With great resignation he says to her, "Stay close to me."

"Always," she replies.

The Resurrection Stone drops from his unfurling hand, landing with a soft rustle on the forest floor.

---

I know it's just a movie.  The scene reminds me of moments in my own life, feelings and perceptions I often have that those I have lost are still with me, in ways that often defy description.  Their energies have been with me, and it is here I have found courage and strength.  I believe with all my being that certain loves are never lost from our heart.  Death is not the ultimate separation, for as Sirius eludes to, our hearts are the great reservoirs of all the loving energies we have known.  There is one universal energy we share, and science itself has taught us that energy is never lost - it only changes form.