God confuses me sometimes.
I ask him (for a long...very long...time) to help me...to guide me...to show me where I belong in many ways, but especially as far as my life's work and purpose goes.
He opens up certain musical opportunities for me. He renews my passion for playing, for singing. He provides me with a guitar. He gives me a new home where no one in the 89 other apartments complains about my playing. I remember my first and truest joy, and I see it in new ways.
Yet...
Starting about a month ago, when trying to decide where to live, what to study...I start seeing something everywhere. And I mean E-V-E-R-Y-W-H-E-R-E.
I happen to glance at the clock...in the car, on the microwave, on the wall...at home, at work, at my aunt's house...and it is 9:11. I've lost count of the number of times this has happened. I stopped counting at 7.
I started my car the other day and the radio was on 91.1 Nothing broadcasts on this station. Can't broadcast my iPod on it. No reason it would be on that station.
I was driving and just happened to look up. The address of the building I was passing was 911. That's happened at least thrice.
A receipt from Target is for $9.11.
It's everywhere.
I should have been more specific. Are You saying that I belong where I am in 911? Pursue a further career in 911? There's too much 911 in my life? Pursue music but don't give up the 911?
So for now, I try to be content with knowing that I'm being answered, period. Even if I am more confused than when I started praying...
I'd say that God's trying to keep you doing what you are doing. Many times I have prayed the same prayer: "What do you want me to do God?" And I get often the same answer "Keep doing what you are doing" So keep going with it. Music can move people in their lives, but what you do now saves lives. There is an important difference. - Jenny
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