The Italia Blogs: What is God?

Day three in Rome: we had walked down the street for my first glimpses of the Roman Forum and the Colosseum. As her mom headed off in search of a bottle of water for us to share, Jillian and I were paused, leaning over the railing near Caesar's steps, and she was watching me alternately snap pictures and smile.

JB: Who are you smiling at?
Me: *sigh* Oh, I don't know...it's just such a perfect day and this is such an amazing place. I think I'm just thanking God in my heart for being here.
JB: (with a shy pause) Where do you think God is?
Me: What do you mean?
JB: Can you see Him? (remember, she is newly 6 years old)

This is why I love children. They aren't afraid to ask questions. They fear not their vulnerability and they listen without prejudice, and they challenge your honesty in their quest to understand how the world works. I panicked inside for just a moment before I remembered that everyone is served best if I just speak from my heart. I have what I believe is a very non-traditional experience of God - but it's real, it's valuable, and I'm the one she asked. Continuing...

Me: Well...hmmm, no, not like we can see all these human people walking around. But I think I see God everywhere. I feel Him in the sun shining down. I see Him in the beautiful leaves up there and I hear Him in the way they're rustling. (Pause, trying to call forth more examples)
JB: (eyes closed, deep in thought) I think He might be the wind blowing my hair around. I think that's how I can feel Him touch me.
Me: (impressed!) I think He's the smell of that wonderful pizza across the street.
JB: (lighting up) I think He's the people I hear laughing!
Me: I think he's the music (stunned pause)...you are brilliant, Bella.

And for the rest of the night, at random, we voiced our experiences of God as we walked through the remnants of ancient times and practiced our Italian. And I don't know what else to type, except to give an excerpt from my journal entry that night, 9/26/07:

"I adore how Jillian speaks of God. He is the wind pressing on her hair, He is the laughter we heard on the street, He is the smells, the tastes, the sights. Tonight (as Little Mermaid drew to a close) we whispered our secrets into the cupped hands of the other, and then tossed our prayers up to heaven - so God and only God could hear them. I loved this idea - placing our hurts and hopes into our friends' care, knowing they would be held in sacred places, on earth and above...

"Jillian helped me form another analogy as well. Playing at her mini electric piano, she showed me that she can now play chords instead of just a single melody line. I showed her my favorites - the M7 and m7 chords. She thought they were lovely and excitedly showed me her favorites - the major triad (the "happy chord") progressing into a minor triad (the "sad chord"). Trying to come up with a simple way to explain, and maybe even teach a little music theory, I explained how to arrive at my chord. 'See how if you play the happy chord, take away the bottom note, and add this top note to the two that are left - you get a sad chord. If you play them both together - tada! You get my favorite 7th chords.'

"She said with authority, 'So...your chord is so pretty because it's the happy and sad played together.' And we had a wonderful discussion about how this is what makes life beautiful - the happy and the sad, the good and the bad, opposing and together. I remember that I want to experience life in all its depth of passion and woundedness."

I hope she carries this lesson forward into the rest of her life, for it's part of what makes this whole journey worth it.