The Italia Blogs: Soul Traveler

Stopped at a gas station on the Autobahn, about halfway to Assisi, Roberto and I stood outside as he asked me how I was enjoying his country. I was at somewhat of a loss to explain being overwhelmed with newness while feeling unexpectedly "at home" at the same time.

I did feel like I was among strangers, but no different than the strangers I would walk amongst at home. Maybe it helped that I heard a lot of English, but even when all the conversation around me was spoken in Italian, that made equal sense too. People did the same things at an Italian gas station as they do at American ones: rushed through their commute, argued with their kids over which unhealthy snacks to purchase, bought their cigarettes. Tourist-laden downtown Rome felt very different too, but it was still the same: people dashing in and out of shops with their packages, just like they would at Mall of America. Only here, it's gelaterie, bistri and farmacie set against ancient cathedrals, as opposed to Starbucks and Target set against the latest chrome-and-glass strip mall.

"It's hard to explain, Roberto. I expected to feel very out of place. I thought I would be walking around in a constant awareness that I was 3800 miles away from home, and that everything would feel foreign and exotic. But I don't feel like I'm away from home. I don't feel like I'm in Europe or 'a foreign country.' I mean, yes, there is much which is very different from the culture and life I come from, but I don't feel out of place. I'm just standing at a gas station on the freeway, watching life happen here...just like it does there."

He gave the mountains in the distance a faint and knowing smile as he nodded his head. "You feel this way because you have traveled far in your soul." We just stood there a moment. What a statement! Yes, people the world over have the same basic necessities and concerns: how to provide themselves food and shelter, how to balance life and work, how to love and be loved. More importantly though, as an individual I have gone to many places within myself: great heights and great depths, moments of great joy and moments of great pain, moments of success and failure.  His words gave me insight into why I see things the way I do, and why despite a lot of situational turmoil in my life, I still feel a sustaining serenity underneath it all: Amanda is the same the world over. (And I think, God is the same the world over.) I know from where I come, and I must also know that whatever lies ahead won't defeat me even when it breaks me in the moment. Did I think that I would somehow be different in Italy? Feel differently inside? Behave differently? Not true. I can face the world because I can face any part of myself. Many people have asked me how I could take this trip by myself. Maybe that's the answer.

"Amanda, I have lived in many places around the world, including your country. People are very different, but very much the same, si?"

Si, Roberto. Si.